Happy New Year!

It’s the 1st. And that’s when resolutions begin. Fitness, health and organization are on my mind.

Wait.

What’s that, my dear calendar? It’s actually the 1st of August.  Oh.  Well, better late than never, right?

So yes, stress has been weighing down on me {mom of young kids} and so “other things” are weighing on me as well.  Hence, I am trying a few new things to focus more on my health.

• Reading.  Currently I’m enjoying a book about chrono-rhythms and timing of when to do things – not just what to do.  Fascinating.  The Power of When on Audible.  Amazing!

• Running.  I tried and fizzled on running a specific program for increasing speed/endurance.  I’m going simple this time.  Running a mile a day.  Makes a fun acronym in my bullet journal:  MAD!  Ha!  So it’s going to look like I was MAD every day this month.  Well, it better.

• Bullet Journal.  I have found something that works for me beautifully, merging creativity, list-making, to-do listing and journaling all into one.  I’m just finishing up my first journal.  And I’m hooked.

• Writing.  I need this creative outlet.  And it sometimes {most of the time} goes to the back burner behind the day to day grind.  I don’t know how I’m going to move it to, say, the front burner.  It’s a work in progress.  And progress I will take.

I have made it through the summer.  {limped through}  And now here we are at school time again.  Back to routine.  Back to homework.  I think that I need this.  So many things are swirling in my life – so much change right now that it’s hard to remember what the consistency of a schedule looks like.

One of those things is moving – staying in the same town, but moving to a new house.  One that fits our family so much better.  When my husband and I moved into this house, we were only dreaming of kids.  Now that there are three very active and loud kids in the house, we need space.  So space we have found!  But now we have to pack up this house.

• Packing.  Going through all the stuff that I was going to go through later…now.   I do not want to be moving stuff that I don’t want – but don’t know that I don’t want yet.  Lots of paper.  So many papers.

And now we are saying goodbye – after more than 10 years in this house.  Saying goodbye to a home is something that can break a heart, even if there is promise on the other side.  Saying goodbye to where I brought my kids home for the first time.  Saying goodbye to the memories made within.  Saying goodbye to the house that was a home.

Happy new year and happy school year!

The Big Blob

 

The week before Christmas, I usually choose to NOT leave the house.  Because I have all three kids in tow.  And it’s crazy out there.  I like a good Black Friday free-for-all once in a while.  But I’m not a “3 days before Christmas” shopper.  Really, I’m not shopping in a brick and mortar anyway.  I like shopping with the computer and mouse.  So at home we stay.  It’s a nice time to decompress from the busy first half of December.  A time to just lay around like a blob.  Wear your pjs.  Sleep in as much as my early risers will let me.  7:15 never looked so good!  

But this year I wasn’t going to blob as much.  I had a plan.  I was going to get so much done over the Christmas break.  I was going to get rid of stuff.  Get rid of it all.  All those “just in cases” and “maybe laters.”  I was going to finally do it.  We had no major plans.  It was GOING to happen.  Perhaps I was dreaming too big.  But I had it scheduled it down to the day.  And I was just getting started when…

My little boy came up to me and said “The bathroom floor is wet downstairs.  But I didn’t do it.”  Ok.  So I’m expecting a small little puddle of something.  Maybe the sink splashed.  Or the toilet overflowed, at worst.

Nope.  I squished into the carpet a good 2 feet outside the bathroom door.  And there it was.  About an inch of standing water in the bathroom.  Definitely not what I thought I was going to see.

So after much crying & panicking (me) and calling the emergency plumber (since of course it was after hours) and shop vac-ing the water out (my husband) – here it was.  Our Christmas plans.  Refinish the downstairs den & bathroom.

All my plans of cleaning out the house, working towards getting rid of stuff came to a screeching halt – before they even began.  Because now, my primary work zone was now overtaken with the stuff that was relocated from the flood zone.

So with my plans halted and workmen coming to the house to remove the contamination – let the blobbing begin.

We blobbed while our house was taken apart.  Then Christmas came – with pjs and presents and cinnamon rolls.  Holiday blobbing.  And then post-holiday blobbing.  And we just kind of blobbed until new years.  No school.  No work.  No real clothes.  Just blobs.

So the new year came.  The tree came down.  Back to work.  Back to school.  Back to wearing REAL clothes.  And it lasted 2 days.   Only two whole days without the blob.

Now winter weather has shut everything down.  Nowhere to go.  Back to blobbing.  Will the blobbing ever end?

Adventure time

Recently, I have been thinking about what I want to do when I grow up.  Well, what I really want to do.

I was reading a book recently – and the character went on several trips, fulfilling dreams of travel and experiences.  And it got me thinking.  What are some dreams and experiences that I have.  Things I want to do.  Things I might be putting off until later.

But later usually doesn’t come.  You have to plan for later.  Well, at least I do.

It sounds easy to do.  Think of what you want to do.  Then do it.  Right?  I have a friend that is really good at that.  She sees a goal and just goes for it.  Courage.  Confidence.

I long to be even a little like that.  But I tend to proceed with caution.  Thinking of things that could happen.  You can call it planning.  Or you can call it apprehension.

VGA capture

So why can’t I just go for it?

I want to play the drums.
I want to be fit and healthy.  And enjoy doing it.
I want to be mindful with my time use.
I want to have something of an organizing business.
I want to rock climb – indoor only.  I’m not that brave.
I want to go to Italy.
I want to live purposefully.

Now some of these are totally doable.  Some of these will take work.  Some of these might not ever happen.  But dreaming keeps the child-like part of my brain alive.

Wait.  This might be a mid-life crisis.  But you know what?  Maybe it is.  Or maybe it’s just the right time.

How do you spell fall?

Fall….Where are you?

My 2nd grader was doing a reading comprehension sheet about seasons last week and the topic was fall.  So after reading, she needed to answer the questions at the bottom of the page.

And one of them stumped her.

Why is fall cooler than summer but not as cold as winter?   “It’s not cooler than summer.”

Ok, so hypothetically, why is fall cooler than summer?   “Why is it not cooler than summer yet?”

Baby girl, I don’t know.  I’m ready for some cool weather.  Some scarf wearing, boot wearing, nice cool breeze weather.


And some holiday word spelling has been a little tricky…

Hallowing = Halloween
Tricker Treat = Trick or Treat
Mary Christmas = Merry Christmas

 

It’s always something

I don’t know why… But I always thought that raising kids during the little years were going to be the trying times of parenting.  Overly exhausted all the time.  Meeting needs every 5 minutes (or every three.)

As my kids watched Aladdin a few years ago, I really could identify with the Genie.  When he is explaining to Aladdin that his wish would be freedom, instead of having to say *poof* “What do you need?”   *poof* “What do you need?”   *poof* “What do you need?”  

Not that I feel like I have the need for freedom.  Rest, yes.  But freedom, not so much.  I get it Genie.  All. Day.  Long.

 

So, back to me being hopeful and naive.  I guess I thought when the kids were able to “function” more or less by themselves – aka no more diapers, bottles, hold me – that I would not feel so run down.

Well.  Not so much.

Now with two in elementary school (and a spirited preschool boy), it’s the emotional battle that drains the body AND the mind.  It’s not anything necessarily specific (although there are times  ahem…recently  that it IS something specific.)  But just dealing with school and homework and those little brains that are asking questions and engaging with me in ways that I didn’t see coming.  That is what I am in  *poof* “What do you need?  now.

Recently – it has been something that hit each week.  Please can mommy get a break?  Can you kids take turns falling apart?  Do I get a week to fall apart too?   Why can’t we all just get along?

And it began to bring me to a place of despair.  But then I see that I don’t want to live there.  I need encouragement.  I need it for myself.  I need it to give.  And there is only one place to get it.

From the Lord.

I need to know that I am designed to take care of these little people every day.  Every minute.  Even when I don’t feel equipped.  I am.  I look to the Lord.  He is I AM.

He gives the equipping.  He gives the rest.  He gives the hope.  He gives the joy.

All I have to offer are open arms.

Air masks

I”m getting to the age that I don’t want to be unfit. Because it might stay that way.  Not that I’m not unfit.  But I would love to start the “hill” feeling a little younger, I guess.

So recently my husband and I did the Whole30.  It was great to have a partner in crime – well a partner in abiding by the diet rules.  It was easier to make meals for 2 than just for one.  And then we were developing our tastes together.  Trying new ways of cooking.  Trying new foods!

I call it a diet, but really it is more of a food experiment.  It served me as an elimination diet – and a food cleansing.  In many ways.  I needed to change the way I saw food.   And it worked.  Eating meals.  Not needing to snack as much.  Eating purposefully.

And that was step one.

I want to be active.  I want to have fitness be an important part of my life.  And I want to be setting this example for my kids.  To do this, I’m going to be trying something new.  I am doing an indoor triathlon.  It’s inside so there is no open water or balancing on a bike.  But nevertheless, it’s still out of my comfort zone.

I’m not so much a swimmer.  Well, actually I’m learning to swim.  Getting into the pool is a brave act every time.  I’m having to learn to breathe in the water.  I really don’t know how to swim.  I can “not drown” but I can’t swim.

ckmqkoc

So… the kids.   They did not do the Whole30.  (they probably ate worse during it)  And they are a little young to do the tri training with me.  But it’s like being on an airplane.  Well at least the air mask part of it…

20140817_075836_sq-cd0f32bf50a2b8776f1a3356d86796bae518a0ee-s300-c85

Secure the air mask on yourself first.  Then put the air mask on your kids.  I can’t help them and change our ways as a family until I change mine.

Fall TV

Fall TV.  It brings with it the reuniting of old friends that you haven’t seen all summer.  It brings the hope of new friendships and stories to become enthralled in.  It brings new beauty, humor, creativity and lines to quote!

Back are our “nerd” shows
SHIELD, Arrow, Flash

Fitz (the scientist) to Mac. “You are an engineer.” in reference to Mac calling himself “just a mechanic”
I like that Fitz.  Don’t let your friend underestimate himself!

 

And new shows:
This is Us.
If you aren’t watching it…why!?  It’s amazing.  Even if you think you know what it’s about – it’s so much more.  One word.  Randall.  When he says “What is happening?” as he cracks up in laughter.  The emotional that he shows are amazing.  And the emotions that I feel.  It’s more than manufactured emotions that I’m supposed to feel.  It’s deeper.

Designated Survivor.
Please.  Will someone be nice to him and give him a chance?!   But great show.  Interesting concept.  And yeah, Kiefer.


Let yourself go. And never underestimate yourself or the difference you make.

I typed that a few weeks ago.  It must be from a show.  But I don’t know which one.  But that’s something I love about shows.  The deep thoughts that come out of shows.  Fake characters.  Real emotions.  Yeah,  it’s just TV.  But oh what fun!

Unplugged

Unplugged can be a good thing. Or not.

Going on a trip and not checking email.  Unplugged and relaxing.

Internet goes out for almost 5 days.  Unplugged by force.  Not so much relaxing.   Going without it makes me CRAZY.
It’s amazing how much we depend on internet – almost like power and water.  It is now just a standard utility. 

Unplugged.  Oh, my phone didn’t charge.

Unplugged.  Quiet.  Naps.  Slow sips of coffee or tea and a good book.

Unplugged.  Foo Fighters.  Dave Grohl.  Everlong.  Guitar.

Not that any of those things happened recently

Or that some of those things are some of my favorite things… 

And we have reached the end…

or the beginning…

Today – is DAY 30!  The last day of the Whole30.  And I thought it would be a struggle to get here.  Denying myself of my favorite foods – hello cereal and chocolate.  I read that by the time the Whole30 ended, I wouldn’t even want to binge on my favorites or go crazy with a bombardment of all my favorites.  But I doubted that.  Really? 

How could I not want to have my cereal for breakfast?  The beloved cereal that I have had pretty much my whole life for breakfast.  Every.  Day.

But here we are.  My last day of eggs for breakfast.  And I don’t see myself rushing back to my cereal.  Maybe I’ve just gotten in the habit of having something else?  Or maybe my body knows that I need that protein and fat for energy to start the day.  Instead of my sugar/carb laden cereal.  – it really wasn’t that bad of a breakfast cereal… it was a high-protein, low-sugar, high-fiber cereal.

But I’ve made my grocery list.  And I didn’t rush to put my cereal(s) and my almond milk back on my list.  I wonder what has happened?

What HAS happened?  I dread weighing myself tomorrow.  Not seeing the actual number.  But for the number that might not have changed in 30 days.  I feel better.  But that number.  Why?  Why does a number get me?  Maybe it will change.  Maybe it won’t.  But we shall see.

But whatever the number…

My goal was to feel better.  Eat better.  Cut out pointless sugar intake.  Be mindful of what I was eating.  Check.  On all of that.  So I think that this Whole30 thing has worked for me.  I have actually enjoyed it.  I have learned some lifelong cooking skills.  And I have learned to love some foods that I didn’t know that I even liked.  I have learned to truly taste food – and savor.

So on to the next 30 days.  Things might not change that much.  But I’m not going to be the “crazy Whole30 lady” – the one that can only have coffee when I go out to lunch.  But the choices I make will be different.

Cereal.  I might see you soon.  Maybe.  Maybe not.

I was going to say something “corny” here about grains… oh wait.  I did.  

There’s a whole in my heart…

…that can only be filled by

cereal?
chocolate?
I’ll even take oatmeal now!

I am doing the Whole30. It’s eating whole foods – nothing processed, no added sugar, no added fake sugar. A lot of “no” – but a lot of yes too!

So why, why do this? After being sick for almost a month, just feeling blah, feeling out of shape, and having a not-so-great relationship with food (read: comfort food, emotional eating) I figured it was time to do something.  And I think I might have a sugar sensitivity and might have a dairy problem.  I hope not, but we will see.

And if I’m going to do something, then let’s DO IT.

So I’m going for it.  I have said goodbye to my beloved cereal for a month. I am a sweets/carbs girl. And the food on this plan is very savory. I’m not so much a savory girl. But when trying to change how you see food… Savory it is.

Eggs for breakfast. Salad for lunch. Meat and veggies for dinner. It’s a little more involved than that.  *seeing the pile of dishes EVERY day proves that*

Lots of oil.  Lots of fat.  Yep.  Protein, fat and veggies at every meal.  It’s so hard at breakfast.  Gone is my easy yummy sugary bowl of cereal in the morning.

unknown kidding, not kidding

But alas – I’m getting used to it.  I’m past the halfway point of this.  And my need for snacking is waning.  And my desire for my pantry and fridge to continue to look different after this month is over is increasing.  I’m liking the way I feel.  I don’t feel this magical energy that some say they get from this.  But I don’t feel like a total slug.  And I feel like I’m more passionate about choosing what to put in my body.  And the colors on the plate are much more fun!

After the 30 days, there is a “reentry” process.  And it sounds about as complicated as a NASA reentry process.  You test out highly sensitive foods *gluten anyone?* and see how your body reacts.  So halfway to the reentry.

atmospheric_re-entry_demonstrator_-_artist_s_impressionSeeing atmo now!