It’s always something

I don’t know why… But I always thought that raising kids during the little years were going to be the trying times of parenting.  Overly exhausted all the time.  Meeting needs every 5 minutes (or every three.)

As my kids watched Aladdin a few years ago, I really could identify with the Genie.  When he is explaining to Aladdin that his wish would be freedom, instead of having to say *poof* “What do you need?”   *poof* “What do you need?”   *poof* “What do you need?”  

Not that I feel like I have the need for freedom.  Rest, yes.  But freedom, not so much.  I get it Genie.  All. Day.  Long.

 

So, back to me being hopeful and naive.  I guess I thought when the kids were able to “function” more or less by themselves – aka no more diapers, bottles, hold me – that I would not feel so run down.

Well.  Not so much.

Now with two in elementary school (and a spirited preschool boy), it’s the emotional battle that drains the body AND the mind.  It’s not anything necessarily specific (although there are times  ahem…recently  that it IS something specific.)  But just dealing with school and homework and those little brains that are asking questions and engaging with me in ways that I didn’t see coming.  That is what I am in  *poof* “What do you need?  now.

Recently – it has been something that hit each week.  Please can mommy get a break?  Can you kids take turns falling apart?  Do I get a week to fall apart too?   Why can’t we all just get along?

And it began to bring me to a place of despair.  But then I see that I don’t want to live there.  I need encouragement.  I need it for myself.  I need it to give.  And there is only one place to get it.

From the Lord.

I need to know that I am designed to take care of these little people every day.  Every minute.  Even when I don’t feel equipped.  I am.  I look to the Lord.  He is I AM.

He gives the equipping.  He gives the rest.  He gives the hope.  He gives the joy.

All I have to offer are open arms.