What? I’m a writer?

So… it hit me this week – when the book that I helped collaborate with was published and on sale at Amazon.  And then when I got the hard copy.  And saw my name there on the page.  Did I really write that?  Yep.  Maybe, just maybe I can call myself a writer.

I’m a writer?  What?!  That’s just crazy.

You would think that fact would be obvious to me.  With all the typing and pen writing I do.  And hello, this blog?  But to call myself a writer…

I’ve been writing my whole life. I journaled passionately with all the angst in high school. I even wrote songs – some with music to them.  Alas, maybe just calling those poems, sometimes to a tune.

I’ve tried regular blogging off and on in my adult life. But most of the time life gets in the way.  And ta-da – I’m behind on the blog.  Most of the time because I’m journaling.  Working out thoughts and emotions.  I’m still writing, but just in a private way.

Words have power with me. I can tell if I get behind on my journal because my brain gets heavy. I have to get the words and the thoughts out.  I get bogged down.  And the words are coming out, one way or another.  read: ranting to husband 

A while ago, I was talking with a friend about this blog. She asked: why do you want to write.   And the answer was obvious.  I didn’t need to even think about it.  Because I NEED to write.  I have to get the words out.  I have to write and create.

The words have to pour out of my fingers as I type with purpose

giphy

What may sound like angry clanking of the keyboard is really a race to get the words out – to keep up with my brain.

Or when I’m handwriting in my journal (yeah old school) when my pen goes faster than my hand and my eyes blur out ever so slightly. I’m in the zone, and the words are flowing.

So now I have a book, with a little part of me inside.  A friend and I wrote the last part – about adoptive motherhood.  Something that is very close to my heart.  Sharing the experiences and those fears, doubts and unknowns that adopting a child will bring.

IMG_3586  Available here and here!

And now I’m starting to write a book – just me. Not sure how it is going to go. But I have to get the words out.  And I’m ready.